I don’t think there is anything worse than going about your day and suddenly sexual explicit images start reeling in your mind like a sports highlight reel. Different scenes from different porn clips you’ve viewed the day before, maybe a month ago or maybe even two years ago or even worse, while you are at church, praying and this image of defilement starts playing in your mind trying to woo you into that euphoric trap again. It is like these images are engraved; seeded into your mind. 

You hate, but love it at the same time. 

You are disgusted about those images yet you just want to go back and try it one more time, just…one…more…time. 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what goes on in the mind of a recovering porn addict.

Back when I started viewing porn, I didn’t think or know what I was getting myself into. I thought, this is what men do. I thought this was normal, that viewing porn was natural and it is….natural. We live in a fallen world. We come from fallen man and woman. Our flesh is never satisfied. Our flesh opposes God. When we are in the flesh, we CANNOT please God. (Romans 8:7).  

Sin is a natural thing to do, but it isn't the right thing to do. Now to this day, I struggle with the results of years of porn binging. Results like objectifying women, wanting to run to porn to escape the difficulties of life and a defiled mind. 

I see myself often having this battle with my flesh like Paul did in Romans 7. “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:15-20). This fight with my flesh is an on-going battle. There’s times I get weary, doubting if I’m really saved, doubting the very God who is sovereign over everything including this struggle. That’s exactly where Satan wants you. Doubting what God’s word says. He has been doing that since the beginning of time. Twisting God’s word to make us doubt the very Word of God. 

So now I am filled with condemnation and shame. Not sure whether to keep fighting or take this struggle as my thorn. 

Does this all sound familiar to you? 

Are you ready to give up? 

You are NOT alone. Many, many men and women in Christ are in the same battle as you are. Most of us who struggle or have struggled with porn still have this fight within their minds. But I’m here to tell you that we serve a God who does NOT want you to stay in bondage. This is NOT your thorn in your flesh. There is freedom in Christ. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ. (Romans 8:1). You are NOT alone in this battle, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You do not have to live with this addiction. The question is, do you ant to be free?